First I Dreamt the Journey – Part 16 – Kitchen Table

I must give the time and energy to the innermost circle. Its position, at the centre of the rings, demands that.

I must take the time to get to know me, to understand me, to nurture and look after me and to take the risk of loving me.

That process has revealed that within the innermost circle reside large numbers of disparate parts of me. At times these parts can appear to be in conflict. For example, my desire to help others and my need to look after myself can often find themselves at variance.

I am prepared to accept as a premise that each of these parts has my best interests at heart, even though at times it may appear that they are out to destroy me.

There are other hypotheses, but I am adopting this one because, over time, it has proven the most useful.

What has become clear is that it is lack of communication between parts which leads to confusion, bewilderment and uncertainty. And one part operating on its own, convinced it is right, and refusing to listen to input from other parts will inevitably cause disaster.

I must open up lines of communication.

Parts which are running rampant must be assured that I do appreciate they have good intentions, but I must ask them to take the time to consider other options, other information, to be prepared to consider the fuller picture. I must reassure parts which feel neglected, undervalued, under appreciated that I do heed their words, that I do consider their opinion important and that I am willing to listen to them.

I must invite all parts into the kitchen where there is a range glowing warmly on one side of the room, where there is a bottomless teapot on its top, where there is the smell of freshly baking bread and where there is a large, solid wooden table, seemingly marked by generations of use, in the centre of the room.

I must invite them all to sit round the table, to partake in bread and tea and conversation.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Gradually, as the warmth and camaraderie of the kitchen table works its magic we begin to find a harmony and discuss an interdependent, mutually satisfactory wholeness. Gradually there emerges openness, trust and honesty. Each part is encouraged to discuss its intentions, its reasons, its approach and by co-operating we create unity.

The strength of one part becomes available for use by others. Parts with enormous energy, drive, enthusiasm and determination, when persuaded to use those attributes for the benefit of us all, become useful members of the community. The more gentle, reflective parts, when confident they will be listened to, provide a balance, a solace, a comfort and a direction.

And, as long as the kitchen remains an attractive place, other parts, of whose existence I was unaware, will emerge, blinking in the light. Sometimes we have to work quite hard to merge them with the whole, but we must do that because their contribution will be valuable.

I must work to maintain the atmosphere, the ambience of the kitchen. If the fire in the range does not get stoked, if the bread does not get baked, if the butter does not get churned it will become a cold and uninviting place.

I must do the work because it is only in the environs of the kitchen and around its table that the sense of wholeness, of completeness and of unity can be maintained.



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15 Responses to “First I Dreamt the Journey – Part 16 – Kitchen Table”

  1. I like this. It is a cool description, a gathering at a kitchen table. You are like playing host to the different parts of your psyche.

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Cathy,

      It is certainly better than having the different parts of my psyche falling out with each other and creating mayhem. Has been known!!! 🙂


  2. Lovely way of rearranging your personality as if it is a family having tea and talks at the kitchen table 🙂 If it is a large family, there is always the chatting aunt, the depressed granddad and the attention hungry child. I hope they have table manners! Bon appetit!

    • belfastdavid Says:

      *Big Smile*

      I love the characters you have introduced – they are all there 🙂

      Table manners are mostly fine but the throwing of tea-cups has been known!!! 🙂

      Thank you

  3. Vera Hazelgrove Says:

    That is a wonderful way of doing the best one can …made me think … I must try out such a discussion around this comfy kitchen table, – I’ve never considered this possibility…..

    learning something new 🙂 thanks for sharing!

    wishing you a great week
    Vera & Karley

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Vera,

      As long as the range is lit and the teapot is full it can be a very rewarding experience. Be sure that you go there with love.

      You have a great week too


  4. christine Says:

    You are very clever at creating analagies and this one of the kitchen table is pure magic.

    Being able to look at the whole picture you paint tells me it is so worthwhile working hard on all parts to create and maintain harmony within ourselves.
    Nobody likes a cold, empty kitchen with stewed tea!!

    Lots of love
    and big hugs (to last next week!)



    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Christine,

      Too often we have been in that “cold, empty kitchen” – we have no need to go there again 🙂

      Enjoy your week away.

      (((Big Irish Hug)))
      Lots of love

  5. Hi David,

    I really love this chapter. It is a very warming and comforting one for me.
    I have used the the kichen table for different puposes in the past, inviiting my demons for tea. Drawing them out into the light so I can truely see the “monsters” for what they really are. Sometimes they are aspects of self I have feared. 🙂

    I like this concept though of using the kitchen table to draw together the disparate and neglected aspects of self.
    The comfort and unity we forge within ultimately I feel does reflect itself externally too. It is reflective of an importnat element of self love and in order to be whole indiviudals we have to be willing to invest time in ourselves. It also has the flow on effect of taking better care of what is around us too. 🙂

    I now have a hankering for freshly baked bread spread thick with fresh butter. *lol* 🙂

    Wishing you a most enjoyable and lovely week!


    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Tikarma,

      The kitchen table is so important for us. Yet we often neglect to do the work! The more we love ourselves the more we are prepared to get to know ourselves and the more we know ourselves the more we are capable of loving ourselves. Scott Peck argues that love is a verb (an action word) and the hard work of getting to know ourselves is undoubtedly an action of self love. I hope that makes sense 🙂

      Now, shall I pour the tea whilst you butter the bread. 🙂

      Wishing you a wonderful week.


      • *Buttering up bread*

        You make perfect sense David. 🙂

        I do agree that love is a verb, it isn’t just what you say more importantly it is what you do. The old adage “Actions speak louder than words…” Of course in the beginning it far easier to talk than do, learning when to stop talking and get moving is just as an important lesson. 🙂


  6. David,

    If the last post from your book created a storm of emotion in me, this chapter is the calm that follows. And, I really needed to be in the center of that calm tonight. Thank you for posting these. It has meant a lot to me to be able to explore each section with guidance from the author.

    The video was greatly enjoyed, as always. I like that you start each film with a warm smile.

    Much love,

    • belfastdavid Says:

      This is a lovely comment Shirley and much appreciated.

      Thank you very much.

      Enjoy the calm – take it with you on your trip away 🙂

      With much love

  7. Your image of the kitchen is so inviting that I will use it myself in an attempt at a better self-understanding. Thank you.

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