First I Dreamt the Journey – Part 9 – Battlefield 3

From that point forward the journey was into the unknown, and I had to be prepared to go there. I had the torch with me. I had access to the cave and I could call on the beautiful fairy whenever I needed her.

It was necessary first to escort her round the cave, into all the hidden corners and dark places. I suspect she already understood the cave better than I, for at that time there were places in the cave that I had yet to discover. Nonetheless it was important that I demonstrated my willingness by taking her there.

She was gentle with me, yet firm: there was no mistaking the message she was giving me, nor any doubt about the importance of following her guidelines.

She gave me words and gave me phrases which, no matter how long ago they were first spoken, will appear in my head with a clarity and immediacy whenever I need them.

At the end of our first meeting she gave me three words. She said ‘Take them with you, they are all that you will need’ Those three words were – Trust, Risk and Share.

At that time I had no idea of her meaning. Yet experience has proven to me that those three words will look after me, will take me where ever I want to go and will provide me with comfort whenever that is a requirement.

In particular I have been able to learn that I can –

Trust the Process

You start with faith
that something will work
without really knowing,

And then just by
doing what you have
to do out of faith,

It leads somewhere
totally different.
And it is OK.

And for the audio version  –


19 Responses to “First I Dreamt the Journey – Part 9 – Battlefield 3”

  1. christine Says:


    This beautiful book has become my Bible. It is full of wisdom, it needs to be re-visited on a regular basis and it is a great comforter during troubled times.

    There has been mention of our ability to build great walls over the years which have to be dismantled if we are to live in the light. I have had experience of such walls and am still working on some today. What I have discovered over the past couple of years or so is that I am still capable of erecting structures very swiftly which are not so much walls as barricades, improvised, makeshift structures which, although not as sturdy as stone, are still capable of keeping me trapped. The two main components of these barricades are fear and denial.

    I feel, at the moment, that I have begun to dismantle the denial by doing the Breathworks course. This has created a tiny pocket of light through which my arm has reached, just enough to grasp one of the sparks of hope. I am hoping to start releasing more light after I have had the hospital appointment next week.

    My aim, eventually, is to be able to hold my illness very gently and lovingly in the palm of one hand, gather and hold carefully all the other aspects of my life, in the palm of my other hand,draw them both very gently together, so that they may work alongside each other and in harmony.

    This seems a tall order at the moment, and it is where trusting the process comes in to play. I will have to re-visit this over and over as I am still aware that this part of the barricade is being very stubborn. It sounds so encouraging and reassuring and yet I am resisting, and preventing the light from shining. But I have the spark of hope with me and that is a positive.

    Bill W. spoke of us being able to “walk in the sunlight of the Spirit”.
    I know that is where I want to be.

    Thank you for being there and for your part in making this current burden more bearable.

    Lots of love



    • belfastdavid Says:


      This is a beautiful comment, almost poetic in its content and breath taking in its honesty. I felt every word of it.

      The Big Book also promises “beyond our wildest dreams” and if you look back over your recovery you will find those places where God’s plans and your plans diverge. 🙂
      When we can let go of demanding a particular outcome (not easy I know) and trust the process we will always find that the outcome is OK.That at least is my experience. 🙂

      I know how big next weeks appointment is for you. Reassure yourself with the knowledge that you are doing the right thing

      Lots of love

  2. Trust Risk and Share. To trust the process, could , in some cases, mean: trust not just yourself, but also people, the other person; risk, meaning reaching out to the person you once were, and reaching out to others , and share, meaning pass on what you have learned, again to others.

    Then again I might be completely wrong. 🙂

    Christine you are so right about it being like a bible 🙂 Everyone finds something reflecting his/her life maybe. Great job David 🙂 It would be lovely to see your misty pics here somehow!

    • belfastdavid Says:

      You have it exactly Ina.

      Sometimes, when in the midst of illness, trust, risk and share are the hardest things to do.

      For the moment I am leaving my pics to Facebook but that may change 🙂 The videos are of course on You Tube.
      I have been so impressed with Tikarma’s use of slides on You Tube that I may consider that in the future too
      We shall aee 🙂

  3. Good luck, no idea what slides are, but if you think it adds something extra to your work…

    Technical things are not mine, I can’t even text messages. Great if you can!
    Videos, of Whitby? I googled your name and you tube but I got a hoboist and very nice music lol.

  4. Great thanks, I am going to check yours now 🙂

  5. Yes it is really nice, and I think I now see what slides are. 🙂
    I saw one of Tikarma’s there too, she is so talented! 🙂 Very calm voices you both have. Relaxing 🙂

  6. ps My husband dozed of while I was listening part 9 on my laptop 🙂 Now I have to wake him for the groceries!

    • belfastdavid Says:

      *Big Smile*

      I had a friend – a masseuse. From time to time she would use the CD of my first book as background when she was doing massage!! So I guess relaxing is right. 🙂

      But poor man that you woke him up for that reason

  7. What, poor man? I did it subtle ? I coughed a bit and such? Didn’t hit him on the head like my aunt used to do to wake my uncle 🙂

    I can imagine a massage going well with this, might ask same husband 🙂

  8. If a man wants to eat, a man has to buy food? 🙂 But, yes, I think so.

  9. Smiling, with you David!!

  10. love the emotional acceptance, the feel of peace and serenity in knowing one’s “cave.” the ‘share’ part …. yep

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Eileen,

      We do need to know our own cave before we can risk exploring those of others 🙂

  11. David,

    Aside from the guidance your words offer, this is all very well written. Just wanted to say that.

    Trust. Risk. Share. None of them work without the others, do they? I suppose the first person, the most important person to trust, is yourself. And, that is the hardest one, especially if the journey so far has been about hiding too many things away. You have to trust yourself to know what is worth keeping, and what needs to be put away forever. Hard lessons, involving a lot of risks.

    Going through that cave must be something like emptying a deep junk drawer in the kitchen. You find all sorts of useless gadgets that have been taking up room in your life. Maybe they were exotic and intriguing when you acquired them, or maybe you told yourself you might need them “someday” A clear-out allows for more space for things that really matter, or just more room to breathe and move around. Also, a lot of those cave secrets are binding. Cutting the ropes can enable a freedom to be yourself, to share what you trust of yourself, and that is a really good thing to own.

    I do like that poem. I hope you are feeling better. Be careful. Rock climbing is clearly not your area of expertise (don‘t attempt when rocks are wet!).

    Much love,

    • belfastdavid Says:


      Thank you – I appreciate that.

      And you are right – Trust, risk and share are a package and while the words are simple the application is difficult.
      It is surprising too, or at least it surprised me, how much we hide away from ourselves – the discovery of those things for me was often an oh-shit-deep-breath moment.

      I love your analogy of the deep junk drawer – made me smile. For me it was like emptying a rucksack – the more I got rid of the less weight on my shoulders!! 🙂

      Rock climbing was never my area of expertise – I don’t know what I was thinking about. DUH!! 🙂

      Much love

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