Magic

This poem began life as 14 lines, each line being written on a card. The idea being that the cards would be shuffled and then dealt – in whatever order they were dealt a poem would be formed. I think that worked.

And anyway I had a whole lot of fun doing it.

Recently I came across a poetic form called Pantoum. This is a form in which every line is repeated but in a very specific sequence. So I wondered if the 14 lines could be put together to form a pantoum. I am not sure this really works.

But I did thoroughly enjoy the process of trying.

And that is probably the whole point.

David

Magic

Magic exists, it’s in what magic does
given away by fleeting random smile
perhaps somewhere there lies a deeper truth
no longer any need for subterfuge

given away by fleeting random smile
found in the top of ever breaking waves
no longer any need for subterfuge
there’s clarity, it comes from peace of mind

found in the top of ever breaking waves
captured in this moment’s very essence
there’s clarity, it comes from peace of mind
expressed by seagulls soaring on the wind

captured in this moment’s very essence
hidden beneath the tresses on your head
expressed by seagulls soaring on the wind
an image which my mirror never shows

hidden beneath the tresses on your head
secrets that only I will ever know
an image which my mirror never shows
exposed by looking deep into your eyes

secrets that only I will ever know
inside the place where moonlight hides in trees
exposed by looking deep into your eyes
the words that fairies told me long ago

inside the place where moonlight hides in trees
perhaps somewhere there lies a deeper truth
the words that fairies told me long ago
magic exists, it’s in what magic does

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44 Responses to “Magic”

  1. this is….magical ~ !

  2. Nice. . . I really like this !!!! Yet another great job, David ~ hugs

  3. i love this 🙂

  4. very capable!
    it IS pretty cool in here and no apps to distract.

  5. It was fun to read, and I can see you would have a lot of fun writing it. I can just see you smile. You did a great job, and managed to get a poem with deeper meaning out of the exercise. Those repeated lines enhance the mood of the poem nicely.
    Wonerful. *grin*

    Shirley

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Shirley,

      A true case of the journey being more important than the end result. I have had real good fun with these 14 lines over a period of time – including making the boxes 🙂

      Take care

      David

  6. seeker of truth Says:

    Grinning!! magic, I would say.. Such a wonderful feeling here David!! Magic, we could all use!! Hugs my friend!!

  7. I think your method worked perfectly! 😀

  8. peta straatman Says:

    “No longer any need for subterfuge – there’s clarity – it comes from peace of mind”. This could go up on the wall as a mantra. I really like this.

    Cheers
    Peta

  9. Like this piece a great deal David. Quite different from other pieces I’ve read of yours. Since my computer crashed (long story) just coming back on now… Will write in response to your last email soon. So much to catch up on. But yes will answer one question here you stated…..I do love the ocean and often dream of living near or on one..Will write more in email…..Warm regards, Racheal

    • belfastdavid Says:

      🙂

      The first time I tackled this piece – the 14 lines, I was on a weekend retreat by the sea. The ocean never fails to inspire me.

      Warm regards to you too

      David

  10. Oh, I really do like this!
    It does sound like a fun way to put a poem together – I might try it myself sometime!
    Ali x

  11. Peter Doyle Says:

    Works alright David… beautiful in fact.

  12. Vera Hazelgrove Says:

    It worked out wonderfully well!
    Have a great week!
    Vera

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Vera,

      You have a great week too. We are moving into the cooler days of Autumn here – I feel better for that

      David

  13. I loved these cards the first time you showed them to me a while ago David.

    What you have done here is simply magical and your love of words and language shines through like the sun!”

    Lots of love

    Christine

    xxx

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Thank you Christine,

      You have captured what this is all about – love of words and language. And about the big difference between thoughtful use of words as opposed to careless use of words.

      Lots of love

      David
      xxx

  14. Hey David. I think that really works. It feels deeply spiritual, poetic, catchy & could become songs lyrics. I’m glad you had fun composing it in your own good time (: I wonder if any of it was inspired by your Whitby meanderings…

    • belfastdavid Says:

      What a lovely thought Jeff – to turn it into a song. Although I would have to let someone more musically inclined than me follow that one up.

      And you are absolutely right – there is a little bit of Whitby in the words 🙂

      David

  15. Hi David,

    *big smile* I think your poem has come out beautifully. There is a wonderful rhythm flowing through the poem. It just slips off the tounge. You’ve managed to construct a poem that has depth and feeling. I’d said you more than succeeded.
    I can see you having alot of fun with this type of experiment. *smile*
    I quite like the cards. I think they are such a clever concept and it is fun to have a shuffle and see what turns up. You taken those cards to another level here.

    Thankyou for sharing. It was sch a pleasure to read. 🙂

    Take care.
    Arohanui
    (((BSH)))
    Tikarma
    xoxoxox

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Hi Tikarma,

      Thank you

      I love words and I love communicating and that, of course, is what this whole thing is all about. And having fun with it of course. I had a 12 year old help me with the boxes – that was fun too (She was better at it than I was)

      I have a friend who tells me she reads one card a day and uses it as a thought for the day.

      Just as long as I do not take myself too seriously 🙂

      Take Care
      Arohanui
      (((BSH)))
      David
      xoxox

  16. Hi David,

    Now, that’s magic! Such a wonderful poem and so evocative! This may have been an experiment in writing, but it is so effective and produced such a wondeful piece of writing.

    And I just adore that last verse. Truely you have spoken words of wisdom! Well done my friend.

    Beannachd leat,

    Jamie

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Hi Jamie,

      Now I am smiling – I started with the last verse and worked backwards when I was doing this. *Grin* It was the only way I could get it to work.

      Take care my friend

      Beannachd leat

      David

  17. I like the repetition and your words are, as always, so well chosen. I’ve not tried this form, but now I’m considering.

    Love your new space! I have something on blogger, but I’m thinking about how I might move to wordpress.

    • belfastdavid Says:

      Good to see you Jonnia – seems to have been a while.

      I will put up a link to your blogger site. If you decide to change to wordpress let me know and I will change it.

      David

  18. yes, when working form in repetition, or circular … to offset it creates a ‘spiral effect’ and the thought goes on, forever changing. however, in this form is more like links in a chain.

    so true, it’s about the process of writing itself that can be a final goal … the new that we find in ourselves, when we try new experiences.

    i enjoyed this, those are some nice lines. the form itself was over-worked by one poet i knew on myspace and drove me into a thorough hatred of it!

    • belfastdavid Says:

      It was an interesting format to play with Eileen.

      But I doubt if I will go back to it. The forms which intrigue me most are the sonnet and the vilanelle – I am apt to play with those from time to time – the vilanelle in particular being so difficult to pull off.

  19. Cheryl Darr Says:

    Wow David, it’s really amazing that this poem was born from random lines on index cards! This is excellent.

  20. I enjoyed reading this poem, the flow and the mysterious magic. And the seagulls again… 🙂 A lovely pantoum!

  21. David, you have inspired me with your lovely poem to try my hand at a pantoum. Thank you so much for the inspiration! Léa

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