Archive for August, 2010

Addiction

Posted in Poetry on August 28, 2010 by belfastdavid

This is one of my very first poems.

It was written entirely as therapy for myself – coming to terms with something which I didn’t want to come to terms with.

It is in my first book – Walking into Eternity.

I debated with myself whether to include it but subsequently was very glad I did – it got probably the most response of any poem in the book – all of it positive. Including an email from a lady who thanked me for including it – she said her husband died, not from addiction, but from a particularly virulent form of cancer – the emotions I had expressed in the poem were however exactly the same as those she felt.

All that taught me three things –

1. I should never be reluctant about publishing deeply personal, angry or painful poems.

2. Once I put a poem out there it no longer belongs to me – it belongs to whoever reads it.

3. What a poem means is what it says to the reader.

David

Addiction

I hate this fucking illness.
I hate it with a passion.

Why must it
be so random
in the way
it picks the lives
which it chooses
to destroy?

But other illness
does that too.
This one’s such
a fucking bully,
that’s what
I really hate.

Why must it pick
out those -,
vulnerable
beautiful,
talented,
sensitive,
squash their potential,
waste their lives
and kill them young?

Why can’t it kill
the bastards too?
I suppose I know it must.
But every now and then,
what occurs to me
is that it’s them
– the bastards –
who survive.

Perhaps that is
the reason
that it’s me
who’s still alive!

September

Posted in Poetry on August 22, 2010 by belfastdavid

Wishing my life away here perhaps,
or pointing up that Eliot did not speak for us all as regards the cruellest month
or maybe just reminding you all that it is my birthday next month. *Smile*

David

September

when the cruel heat of August
at last recedes,
a breeze picks up
polluted air
gathered for so long
in the city,
leaves me free to breathe;

when I move past
the long sterile
days of August,
can see again
the change of colours
reflecting in the rain
as it dithers
outside my window;

when autumn disperses
the mists of inertia
which envelop me,
restores my sense
of wishing
to be alive.

September,
my birth month,
when I am reborn
each year.

A Fairy Story

Posted in Poetry on August 15, 2010 by belfastdavid

As this is my new blog site I intend to take the opportunity to post some of my older poems on here as well as new ones.

I am aware that those of you who have been reading my poems on MySpace may well have read the poems before. However I will try to keep it to poems which have not been up there for some time. This one, for instance was last posted over a year ago.

It is one of the earliest poems I wrote and was included in my first book – Walking into Eternity.

It was also one of my mother’s favourites which is as good a reason as any to include it here.

A Fairy Story

Once upon a time
as I sat on the grass
looking over the lake
a beautiful fairy
sat down beside me.

She held my hand, stroked
the back of it gently
and asked me why I was
crying. I had not known
that I was crying.

I don’t know, I said.
Perhaps I am happy
or perhaps I am sad,
but whatever I said
the tears would not stop.

I said that the peace,
the surroundings and the
beauty filled me with awe.
Who was I to enjoy
such beautiful things?

She allowed me to cry.
She allowed me to sob.
She allowed me to
feel a despair. She just
kept stroking my hand.

You are beautiful
too David she said. You
belong with beautiful
things. Why else would I come
to sit by your side?

Copyright David Agnew 2006

Mind you when my mother read the book, one of the first things she wanted to know was who is the beautiful fairy. I said the fairy is Hope. But she wasn’t having it – convinced that there was a woman involved! Duh!

There is too an interesting story associated with this poem –

I have a friend, Tikarma, who lives in South Australia. We have never met in person, only over the internet – however I regard her and her husband, Jamie, as very good friends. When Tikarma read the poem she was inspired to paint a picture.
She was further inspired to send the picture to me in England.
I have had it framed and it now hangs in a prominent place in my lounge.

My friend Carole visited a while back and said – “Every time I look at that picture I am reminded of the lake at Castle Howard.” (Castle Howard is a stately home in Yorkshire, England)

Now then, some facts –

When I wrote the poem the image of the lake at Castle Howard was in my head.
Carole did not know that.
Tikarma did not know that.
Tikarma could have no idea what the lake at Castle Howard looks like – it is at the opposite side of the world from her.

So the image of the lake has clearly transmitted itself via me to the poem, via the poem to Tikarma, via Tikarma to her painting and via her painting to Carole.

There is more connectivity in the world than we are aware of. But we should celebrate it.

David

Presence on the Web

Posted in Blogging on August 9, 2010 by belfastdavid

Presence on the Web

Up to now my presence on the web has been mostly via my own web site – www.walkingintoeternity.com and MySpace, although I am also on Facebook

However now that MySpace has become a clusterf**k that has to change. This site, as mentioned on other pages, is one way.

I am open to suggestions from friends.

I have, for example, never joined any poetry groups on the web, believing that with MySpace on the web and Leeds Writers’ Circle in the real world I had sufficient input to my poetry. I had also to be aware of restrictions on my time.

If any of you have any suggestions let me know please.

David
August 2010

Recovery Blogs

Posted in Recovery on August 9, 2010 by belfastdavid

Recovery Blogs

This web blog was originally set up so that I could post blogs about my own experiene of recovery. Hence the heading on my blog. (I would like to change the wording but so far have not found a way)

I never followed it through so the site was not used.

Now that I need a site for my poetry blog I have re-activated it and deleted the original blogs about recovery.

However I may in the future post some blogs on this topic so wanted to keep the category open

Let me know what you think please

David
August 2010

Reality

Posted in Poetry on August 8, 2010 by belfastdavid

Reality

If my reality
          is an illusion
          which I create
          for myself

Then I owe it
          to myself
          to create an illusion
          which is use ful to me